in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
