I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
