He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
