She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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