He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
