Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
