I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
