he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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