I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
