i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
