Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He called his prostate his "boner button".
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
