so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
