So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My breath smells like gin and sadness
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
