i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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