thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
