Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
