Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
