On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
