I love black thongs
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
