I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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