Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
