There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
