matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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