Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
