if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
