it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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