How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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