I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
