if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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