I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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