I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
