BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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