Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
