I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
