Cold hands, warm shart.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
