you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
