ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
