I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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