I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
vagina is talking i cant
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
