I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
