I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
