Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
