i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
