What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
