one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
