puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
