she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
