Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
