you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
