You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
