I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
